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moncler chicago First year was the worst, I had family breakdown, stopped communication with everyone and almost ended my life as well. Simply put, if I had a gun, I won be here now. moncler chicago

moncler coats for men I had uk moncler sale mild moncler womens jackets depression during high school years, and my best friend was always there to cheer me up when things went rough. I have been thinking that I brought too much of negativity moncler outlet sale during those years. I even once asked him couple months before his death that why is he feeling so hopeless now, and he jokingly replied „because of you.“ Additionally, I have to blame myself for being busy during my first semester at UW, he was still in high school and I did not find time best moncler jackets to comfort him when he moncler coat mens is down. moncler coats for men

cheap moncler Yeah, I get that I didn directly cause the suicide, but I was not there for him. I was not a good listener like him. Many moncler outlet store of his friends still miss him as well, I feel it is mostly my fault for not being a positive influence for him, despite being a year older than him. cheap moncler

moncler jackets men Now I don really talk to my other friends anymore, even the close ones, I am just afraid of that would happen again. I meant, I can hangout with them, but I am not able to talk to them. I am incapable of making new friends moncler outlet online as well, although I did forced myself to network and got a big 4 co moncler sale outlet op the coming winter. I hate it though, the inability to just talk about whatever with friends. uk moncler outlet I want to talk to them, but I am afraid of that I am just bothering them or being negative. However, if discount moncler jackets they do initiates conversation, I have tried to moncler uk outlet stay as enthusiastic and positive as I can. I have not contact any of my parents/relatives for almost five years now as well, they are good people but I don know how to reconnect with them after all these years. moncler jackets men

moncler outlet online I had a girlfriend for almost three years and broke up peacefully in March. She helped me cheap moncler sale tremendously with my grieving. I really don know what to do in term of my social life now, all of my friends are out of town and it is very hard to connect with them. I have been thinking of moving to where they lives for my next co moncler sale online op, so that I can hangout with them. Though, I am all alone and I don have anyone to talk to. Posting this thread on reddit is probably the first time that I have tell someone about my best friend, other than counselors or ex girlfriend. moncler outlet online

moncler jackets outlet online I am trying to keep myself as sane as possible, so I booked flights to go to Europe (UK, Italy and Spain) by myself for the Christmas break. I don know how that will turn out, and so does my life. moncler jackets outlet online

moncler coats And I am actually not at UW anymore (shitty grades in CS and was not able to transfer to AFM), though cheap moncler jackets hopefully this might give some perspective to those who are going through depression or having suicidal thoughts. I of course do not have the right to say if your life is going to get better, but practically, I would say that volunteering and getting a part time job helped me enormously even when I am alone. I performed quite well at my job and all the staffs who have worked with me loved and complimented me, it is a confidence booster and a reminder that I am actually worthy of something. If you are on OSAP now, I strongly recommend you to apply for a job under the UW Work Study Program. It is much better than the regular retailer/food service job, as they are VERY flexible around your school schedule. Plus, they usually have lower expectation when comes to your resume and interview. I hope I had known this in my first year, it is the reason I have some extra money to go to Europe (besides churning, budgeting, and not getting too stressed about OSAP debts). moncler coats

moncler coats outlet And for those who have friends going through rough patches, please be there for them, don make the same mistake that I made because of school. He was home with me since a month and we all knew he moncler outlet prices was a little down. One moncler sale morning we found him dead. It was an absolute horror. A parent waking up to find their son hanging in his room is the most cruel thing. I had never been so full of grief and helplessness ever in my life. I regret not being there for him when he needed someone desperately, despite cheap moncler jackets mens knowing that things were rocky for him. moncler coats outlet

discount moncler jackets Over 3 years have passed since then and I am still coping. Not a single day goes without me thinking and getting sad over all this. I never told moncler online store any of my friends and it is tough talking about it with family without getting everyone depressed. I didn even cry for a year, until on my birthday when at midnight I looked at my phone, realizing that he was the only one who called me at midnight. It isn your fault, and nothing you could have done would necessarily have changed the outcome, often when people have a plan there is not much you can do, at that point they need professional help. I taken a few psych courses as well as ASIST training which has helped me understand a lot better on the subject. moncler outlet Have you sought counselling at all? It could be very beneficial for you. I really don have much to moncler usa say except that you are not alone in your experience, I sorry you have had cheap moncler coats mens to go through it. It did helped a bit. Ultimately, things only start getting better when I finally realize that my life is in my own hand, that I cannot let whatever happened consumes me. Although, the suicide scarred me emotionally forever, that I don think I can do anything about. I had a friend that almost tried to kill herself, but I didn realize that she stopped herself from doing that because a friend and I were her support system and we talked her out of it. She thankfully leading a moncler outlet woodbury much better life, and I can rank that as one of my proudest ever achievements. discount moncler jackets

Discount Moncler Coats I can step in your shoes because I never lost a friend that close due to suicide, but I a stern optimist and I don believe in giving up. I gone through some mild depression just before university as well, but I quickly realized that talking to people and helping people with their issues made me feel at peace. I hate the notion of blocking myself from people because doing so would make it easier to have negative thoughts. Thankfully I can now say that I now mentally healthy, but I still keep up the practice. I understand that it may feel like you bothering people by your talk, but I sure you find people in life that won make you feel that way. And call me old fashioned, but I like keeping that bond with my parents intact, even though I don really share problems with them because I realized that they accept almost any form of you way more than almost anyone else ever will (maybe I just lucky to have such cool parents) Discount Moncler Coats

moncler jackets outlet If you ever want to talk in more cheap moncler jackets womens detail, feel free to PM meI may have lost family to suicide, I not sure of the true nature of my uncle death. I have known others close to me that have lost friends/family to suicide. It tough, nothing prepares you for this, nothing prepares you for what life really is. That the hard part and truthfully it doesn get better over night, it takes a lot of practice, time, and struggle. But that why we aren alone in this world. We here for each other for when we need help or simply someone to hear us rant. I like studying different cultures, religions, and perspectives. I love other languages even though I only speak english. In Japanese the word (hito, pronounced like hetoe) means person and they say that the character (kanji) looks like that because it represents two people leaning on each other. We need each other and we can do this alone. So reach out if you need someone to talk to about anything or nothing at all moncler jackets outlet.